Perserverance

Dear Yoda,

It was great seeing you this past weekend. And thank you for the kind words that you wrote in your book to me.  I can’t tell you adequately what it meant to read that.

I’m struggling today. Part of it is exhaustion from the kiddos.  They are great, but between parenting and work and trying to make the needle move on the novel edits, it doesn’t leave time for much else.  And then there is the editing process itself … one foot in front of the other, all while trying to ignore the inner voice that tells me that each word that I place on the page is shit.  And while some people think that writing can be taught, they forget that I really have no mental capacity to retain the words in the writing books that I’ve read.  In the meantime, I want to read some more Craig Johnson.  When I read the first Longmire book, I felt electrified.  His voice was so unique and genuine.  How do I capture that and find my own genuine voice?  But more accurately – when the hell am I going to find time to read? 

Sorry that this has turned into a regular ol’ bitch session.  I had wanted to get some pages to you by the end of the year.  And I think that I’m almost there.  But as I keep revising, I can see a couple of spots that just need a little more love before I let this baby out into the world.  How do I deepen the relationship between my heroine and her father?  How do I transition naturally into a romantic relationship between her and Travis?  How do I amp up the tension, but keep the B-story progressing?  How do I know that this book is not shit?

I’m not going to stop.  This is what I do in my “free” time. I try to move that needle and inch closer to my dream of being a published fiction writer.  But god, sometimes it’s hard. 

Hope that the bird hunting went well and that your hunting buddies didn’t give you too much grief that you had to postpone your trip to attend your book signing.  It’s going to sound stupid when I say this, since you are old enough to be my dad – but I am so very proud of you. 

-sk

^^ An unsent letter to my mentor.  Today’s a tough day, but if writing was easy – everyone would do it.  I am getting so close, but the edits are taking longer than I anticipated and there are just a few problem spots that need time, love, and undivided attention.

I will get there.  I will persevere.  But damn, there are days that I think my spirit animal is an effing tortoise!

*~*~*~*~

OK – now that my rant is over.  Here’s what’s good:

• My author platform is limping/wogging (walk/jog – get it?) along.  I’m aiming for a January 1, 2015, launch.  Kind of scary, but I embrace it.
• I entered the first 20 pages of AL to a writing competition that is hosted by a state chapter of the MWA.  To be honest, I do not anticipate to win, but I basically invested $25 into a brief critique of the opening chapter of AL.  And you know what I realized through that process?  I do need to tighten up some of the exposition a little bit.  That re-read in getting those pages ready for submission provided a great moment of clarity.

That’s what’s good in the writing world.  When it comes to everything else, life is pretty damn good.  My BFF gets married this weekend.  It’s fall in Minnesota and the tree out in front of our house is a beautiful tangerine shade.  My husband and kiddos are healthy.  And there’s a lot of love in my world.